<![CDATA[Borowitz Report: Featured Stories]]> http://borowitzreport.com/ <![CDATA[Sanford: ‘I'm Too Sexy For My State']]> Lashing out at critics who have called for his resignation, an unrepentant Gov. Mark Sanford released a statement today indicating that he might be "too sexy" for his critics to handle.

"I'...]]> Thu, 02 Jul 2009 12:33:00 GMT <![CDATA[How I Saved Bernie Madoff's Life]]> On April 13, in a story called "Jail for Dummies," The New York Post reported that relatives of Bernie Madoff were looking for a guide to prison life to prepare the Ponzi schemer for his new life b...]]> Wed, 01 Jul 2009 07:55:00 GMT <![CDATA[Ruth Madoff: ‘This Is Not the Man I Owned Nine Homes With']]> Just hours after her husband Bernie Madoff was sentenced to 150 years in prison for masterminding a $50 billion Ponzi scheme, Ruth Madoff expressed shock and dismay at her husband's behavior, telli...]]> Tue, 30 Jun 2009 11:20:00 GMT <![CDATA[Who Moved My Soap? The CEO's Guide to Surviving in Prison: The Bernie Madoff Edition]]> Revenge is best served in paperback.

From the man The Daily Beast calls "America's satire king" comes THE definitive guide for CEOs in prison - narr...]]> Fri, 19 Jun 2009 10:15:00 GMT